NIGHTINGALE

  Choosing You When was the last time you heard yourself crying out? When was the last time you chose yourself over others?  I bet you are diving into your thoughts rn... You don't always stand a chance to choose yourself? You always do...there are plenty of chances and opportunities... But you fail to do so...Why... because you don't want to hurt the people you love? The fault is not that you are lending love and stretching hands to bring them up, but you are losing yourself in that process? It is a fault. How hard you went on yourself to please the ones that don't pay any attention to the slightest change you are going through? How hard you went begging for love, freedom, and the minimal care you deserve? You can't beg people to stand by you...you cant... you can't force them to hustle with you... sometimes it is good to isolate yourself from toxic and manipulative characteristics... No one asked you to tolerate all these negative traits in the people who don'...

I need someone... but ... It's not me...I'm not ready to tell anyone what I'm going through personally...  I'm tired.... I'm just tired of the fact that...no one takes their actions seriously, or how it will affect others... Tired of their words being darted at me... Ya'll keep on judging me...criticizing me...and treating me like I'm feelingless... I might be strong ... bold and smiling all over the way... but it hurts me every time I battle alone... The closest people forsake me... taking me for granted...hurting me ... because they knew I will never leave their side... I need peace...I need rest from my thoughts... I need liberation from my mind and heart... When I cry...Trust me I am not seeking attention... I'm not pretending...trust me...I'm not pretending... But at a point, I feel like why I need you to validate my feelings...? Who am I to you? You would have validated my feelings if you took me seriously.... You would have respect...

There is always a way unless you don't open up...keeping to yourself will not solve things in your relationship...I mean in whatever relationship you have....the right people will understand the core problem...and why we reacted or responded that way....they will accept your flaws....I know sometimes you might have made unforgivable mistakes...and you fear confessing in the relationship....sometimes you feel like they will never accept...sometimes you feel they might leave you...sometime your relationship might feel so comfortable of them having the good perception towards you....you don't want to speak up because of that particular fear....fear of something wrong you have committed....so much of guilt might like up your heart...fear will gulp you down...but having someone to listen and to stand in your shoes is rare...you fear about how you are going to spoil the relationship....it might end up somewhere...but the person truly love you....they will do whatever it takes to stay...

  Deciding is a major part of life... growing out of the box might seem uncomfortable for some people....It is certainly hard to ignore people's comments towards you...it may be criticism...judgement...or discrimination....but how long will their comments effect you...how long will you bare the pain...?or how long will you take to heal yourself out of  It  this? your decision matters at the end.... Procrastinate your works or neglect your passion just because of that one jackass on the street dislike you...just gonna curl up and cry over the comment he/she passed? you are not gonna prove to anyone...no one has the quality to validate your worth...they are gonna talk trash ...because they don't know you...they did not see your efforts...they did not know your intentions....they did not see your passion....their comments are just nothing...as long as you know how much effort ...love and passion you put in ...whatever they say actually does not mean anything.... ...

TOXIC...TOXIC...TOXIC.. .. Frustration was in her silence...she remain silent over the things she was feeling hurt about... Her words are unheard...Her thoughts are messing up...but she chose to stay quiet ... He kept on pushing her down with words...break her confidence...she learned to fix her back...she did her very best to succeed...but she was stuck with that one toxic person...she couldn't walk away...the love she had for him was too deep that she decided to give her all in all to make him happy...what she gained through all these? the jealousy of her success...if a partner is proud of you...your achievements...they encourage you...they do not envy your success...it's a really healthy relationship going on there...but what if they envy your progress..? do not understand your workload...often complain...judge your work and the way you are doing it...it's toxic...it can make you give up....these kind of people are just loving themselves more than they love you...they ar...

Her midnight distress was worsening day by day... How terrible was it for her to face this overthinking every single night... People sleep at night ...but many stay up all night just thinking...strange? Nope...its common in this era...She went up from her bed switched on her study lamp ... Opened her windows wide... Brewed a hot cup of coffee... Took her pen and start writing and she spilled her thoughts in her journal... She spilled all those deep dark thoughts that will make her mind light... thoughts of what makes her worry...anxious and depressed... Luckily she was in the state of deciding to get rid of those trash in her mind... Getting some inspiration from her Espresso ...she started spilling positive thoughts of what makes her happy, what makes her smile, and what makes her satisfy... Instead of lying on her bed like a dead fly...with all those intolerable thoughts ...she decided to utilize that sleepless night by getting a minimal self-theraphy session to heal herself....Its w...